A Poem for Her on Mother’s Day
I get butterflies right before bed every night. Feeling like a toddler, afraid to shut my eyes. The fear is that I’ll find you there, In my dreams. I’d have joy in my heart, a sense of normalcy for my subconscious. Only to awaken, and feel the pang of sorrow, that you’re not here. There’s not a second that goes by where you’re not on my mind. I now live in the in between. Somewhere between heartache and joy. I see you in your granddaughters in the little things, their mannerisms their smiles their eyes bright, full of wonder and joy. It pains me to know, they’ll never know you in the way that I do. They’ll never know your silliness your playful nature. They’ll never know your creativity, how you were always dreaming. They’ll never know your compassion, how you showed up for others. They’ll never know your optimism, gray skies were always blue. They’ll never know your faith, how it was strong enough for me too. I’ll live the rest of my life, hoping to hold a candle to all you held. Praying to give them even a glimpse, Of all you gave me. I’ll live the rest of my life, pointing out the most beautiful parts of you, I see in them each day. I’ll live the rest of my life, honoring you in every way that I can. Praying that the memory of you, that lives on, is just as bright as all you were. I miss you mama.
